Surrender? To lose or Gain?

Well Im in Day 2 of training camp in Ga at camp chereokee ( no idea where that is ). Yesterday I arrived in the Atlanta airport to be greeted by my team and new family for the next 4 months only to be flooded with emotions of excitement AND thoughts of " God do you really want me here? Maybe you want me somewhere else...like home :-) " . Which ive come to the conclusion comes down to trusting God. Fully. Completely. Always. In and with Everything!

And well with thoughts like that...Im not. Ouch. This is gonna hurt a little. Time for some more growing pains.....

This morning we had an awesome time of worship. I love worshipping My God but ive never felt comfortable worshipping Him to the extent i want me because Im too worried about whay everyone is thinking around me. we are talking fist pumping, arms wide, hands held high, praising God. They also encouraged praying and personal outloud praises to God, just me talking or singing to Him, with everyone else around doing the same thing. Talk about awesome, 80plus voices around you all praising God.! Worship should be that way...exciting, spontaneous, personal, not just spoon fed words ( thought that unity in song is also nice :-) , and shared. We shoukdnt be afraid to praise Him outloud, or just talk to Him, pray to Him, cry To Him with others. In front of Others. I look forward to this crazy habit of worship for the next four months. I want to be so comfortable doing that and sharing it with others. So this will require some growing but i dont expect it to be painful :-) itll be fun growing.

But then....we talked about surrendering.

Surrendering control all to God knowing He has a great plan. Surrendering control of communication with home. Prayers here....the thought of it makes me homesick. Trusting God will take care of everyone and everything at home and i dont need to be there. And itllbe there when i get home. Trust that the need is greater elsewhere and i need to go.

A lot to process. A lot of good challenges. Prayers that i am willing and stay willing to accept all the challenges and changes that God has for me. Because when i surrender what i want or things that i hold more tightly i will gain much greater things from God