So Ive been deported and Im on a plane....

Okay, not really deported. But kind of. I am on a plane....I needed an attention grabber ;-)

Two days ago, God confirmed to me it was time to relocate to a different mission field, Wisconsin. Also, known as home to me. But, I dont feel like home is the proper name anymore, because of the many things Ive learned recently my home is in heaven. And my life on this earth, devoted to Jesus, is about sharing the Gospel wherever I am. Im just a traveler, a visitor, on this earth with a message to share with everyone I meet until I am called home to heaven. From one mission field to the next I go, wherever I am called by God. And so, today I am leaving the mission field in Nicaragua a head of my brothers and sister who were also called to Nicaragua with me (and Im following 2 others) to re-enter the mission field in America. Both places are equally worthy of Gods message and in need of much work to be done.

I hope to be able to share everything clearly with you; my trials, struggles, lessons learned, experiences, and my heart to help you understand my journey these past couple months and maybe more specifically, the last couple of weeks. I struggled deeply with the thought of coming home before "my time" on May 9th. Especially when two teammates made the decision, the first about a month ago and the other just two days before me. But, I now know they were just being radically obediant to God. Girls, thank you for your example ;-)

Some of my first questions and thoughts were "are they running away from the struggles in ministry, leadership, relationships and just unwilling to stick it out and deal with them?" "Are they homesick and not being content to where God has called them and looking to him for comfort?" "Maybe they arent trying hard enough." "Maybe they are here by mistake." Which brought about questions like, "why would God call them to a 4 month missions trip to go home early, that doesnt seem reasonable?" "Why would God allow and provide financially for them to get here?" and "what a waste of money they will never see used."

Well, lets start off being very honest...I like to be. There were struggles in ministry. Language barrier, often no translator or not enough to go around, disorganization, spiritual warfare, leadership mistakes, teammate mistakes,  unmet expectations, and others. But, God was present in all of this and allowed all these things to happen. I like to call these strenghtening exercises, trials God allows us to go through that we can handle with him. Thats the proper way to handle such things, though we have the choice to act alone or not at all. And at first, its was so hard to see God in these situations. Why would he allow for such things? Not being able to communicate seemed like a greater hinderance to ministry! How was I suppose to do what I came here for? Well, maybe I never stopped to ask God what He wanted me to do in Nicaragua or to learn or even how long I was suppose to be there. All I could see for awhile was that God wasnt really working with my plan, my expectations. And it was a little miserable at times and some things from our end here on earth couldve been better. But, when I started giving up my expectations and plans, God started to reveal his to me.

So, here is some of what I learned and answers to those questions up above :

1. The 13 of us called to Nicaragua was no mistake, God called us there and allowed it for many reasons.

2. God is not bound by time. The 4 month time frame was a man-made time.

3. God is not bound by money. The money raised for this trip was raised for Gods purpose wherever it goes and however it is used and that doesnt mean I need to stay in Nicargua to see it used on me. It wouldve been selfish to stay for that reason. Now more of the money that came with me can be used for whatever it is God plans for it.

4. God will continue to provide for me. I couldve stayed because the next month and a half of my life was paid for! What a relief of financial responsibility! But, God called me home early and he wont leave me hanging when I get there.

5. The language barrier made things lonely, difficult, and frustrating. Through the lonliness I felt, God drew me closer to him and showed me how much better it was to turn to him for comfort instead of others, mindless activities, or the nearest chocolate bar (which was often wayyyyyy to expensive for me to justify spending to often). I also thought about how thankful I will be to speak to others in my language and culture and all the opportunities I missed and shyed away from. I had such a strong desire to go deeper in conversations, something God grew in me contiunally so that I would come home with that passion and boldness. (Im on the airplane now and just had the best plane ride ever talking about my faith and life with both of my seat buddies ;-)! )

6. The power of prayer. Seriously this stuff works and its powerful! And God answers. I need a whole seperate blog for this.

7. Fasting with the mindset of focusing on God and hearing from him. I was struggling so much with the decision, that i fasted for a period of three days to sperate myself from the group at meal time which allowed for so much needed time in worship, prayer, in with Word and listening to God. I was able to process a lot! I wasnt distracted by food or other opinions when I needed to be sorting things out with God.

8. Gods plan is better. I expected to do a lot of evangelism. We didnt really do any. We did a lot of construction projects which were great and God can certainly use those in big ways for his glory and thats whats important, but I also think we couldve been more effective in sharing the Gospel and things couldve been better prepared for us by our contacts. But, the days spent constructing or painting allowed for a lot of personal thinking time and talking with God and building relationships and learning from teammates. And one of the things he told me was that Im made more for relational ministry. Getting into others lives, sharing and doing life with them. Living and working along side them. Seeing their needs and struggles. Caring for and serving them and being able to share my faith and hope and joy in my Savior! Not that Im limited to that and cant do construction and other service projects.

9. Pleasing God is better than worrying about pleasing others or self. In trying to make this decision and hear God clearly, I was so worried about disappointing other especially my supporters. I didnt want to "waste" your money (check #3). Or as my Pastor termed it, be seen as a "missionary-drop out". I didnt want to disappoint myself and feel like or failure or deny myself the chance to enjoy more of another country and culture and really cheap prices and an even more awesome tan. There was a huge weight on me for the last couple weeks though I didnt quite realize it, but I finally came to a point where I knew I had to make a choice for the rest of the trip so I could stop thinking about it. And the other night I told God if he really wanted me to go home I would go despite my fears of others or whatever Id miss out on here. And a huge peace came over me. I cant explain it because it was from God but I was on fire! I just felt awesome, that weight had been lifted and it couldnt have been more clear what God expected of me. And that was to leave Nicaragua before May 9th, it just so happens to be back to Wisconsin. ;-)

So, Im on a plane....right now.

God has taught me soooo much more than I can share in this blog. And probably much more than Im aware of right now. He has revealed some of his plan for me back in Wisconsin and Im looking forward to when and how he chooses to reveal the rest. So im not a missionary drop out, Im not so terribly homesick that I couldnt focus on something greater than me, and I didnt run away from anything, and I dont plan on doing nothing and hiding back in Wisconsin. Im still a missionary, ive just been relocated on Gods time and his timing is perfect. I couldve very easily stayed til May 9th and continued to serve, grow,  and be used by God. But, God has a greater need for me back home and he has prepared me for that, whatever that is exactly, and I will still grow, Im assuming more in Wisconsin. But the time I spent in Nicaragua, I grew more than I wouldve in Wisconsin, but its time to go back. Everything has and is happening just as God has planned and allowed. :-)

I will be home tomorrow morning after a long day of travel today. Nicaragua to Atlanta, Atlanta to Detroit at midnight, then a 8am flight from Detroit to Milwaukee for an arrival time of 930am. And then I hope to see many of you Sunday at church :-)

So please pray for flight and travel saftey for me and then my parents and DJ, who are picking me up. That God will give me awesome conversations on my flights. Either the opportunity to share te gospel or just have great conversation with other believers to build up and encourage eachother and glorify God (which he already did on my first flight) and may he open the ears and hearts of the people around us, that our conversations will catch their attention and impact them. Please continue to pray for my team still in Nicaragua...for unity, boldness, the desire to grow and serve. And for my two teammates also back in the states, for the different ministries God has called them back to.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

So Ive been deported and Im on a plane....

Okay, not really deported. But kind of. I am on a plane....I needed an attention grabber ;-)

Two days ago, God confirmed to me it was time to relocate to a different mission field, Wisconsin. Also, known as home to me. But, I dont feel like home is the proper name anymore, because of the many things Ive learned recently my home is in heaven. And my life on this earth, devoted to Jesus, is about sharing the Gospel wherever I am. Im just a traveler, a visitor, on this earth with a message to share with everyone I meet until I am called home to heaven. From one mission field to the next I go, wherever I am called by God. And so, today I am leaving the mission field in Nicaragua a head of my brothers and sister who were also called to Nicaragua with me (and Im following 2 others) to re-enter the mission field in America. Both places are equally worthy of Gods message and in need of much work to be done.

I hope to be able to share everything clearly with you; my trials, struggles, lessons learned, experiences, and my heart to help you understand my journey these past couple months and maybe more specifically, the last couple of weeks. I struggled deeply with the thought of coming home before "my time" on May 9th. Especially when two teammates made the decision, the first about a month ago and the other just two days before me. But, I now know they were just being radically obediant to God. Girls, thank you for your example ;-)

Some of my first questions and thoughts were "are they running away from the struggles in ministry, leadership, relationships and just unwilling to stick it out and deal with them?" "Are they homesick and not being content to where God has called them and looking to him for comfort?" "Maybe they arent trying hard enough." "Maybe they are here by mistake." Which brought about questions like, "why would God call them to a 4 month missions trip to go home early, that doesnt seem reasonable?" "Why would God allow and provide financially for them to get here?" and "what a waste of money they will never see used."

Well, lets start off being very honest...I like to be. There were struggles in ministry. Language barrier, often no translator or not enough to go around, disorganization, spiritual warfare, leadership mistakes, teammate mistakes,  unmet expectations, and others. But, God was present in all of this and allowed all these things to happen. I like to call these strenghtening exercises, trials God allows us to go through that we can handle with him. Thats the proper way to handle such things, though we have the choice to act alone or not at all. And at first, its was so hard to see God in these situations. Why would he allow for such things? Not being able to communicate seemed like a greater hinderance to ministry! How was I suppose to do what I came here for? Well, maybe I never stopped to ask God what He wanted me to do in Nicaragua or to learn or even how long I was suppose to be there. All I could see for awhile was that God wasnt really working with my plan, my expectations. And it was a little miserable at times and some things from our end here on earth couldve been better. But, when I started giving up my expectations and plans, God started to reveal his to me.

So, here is some of what I learned and answers to those questions up above :

1. The 13 of us called to Nicaragua was no mistake, God called us there and allowed it for many reasons.

2. God is not bound by time. The 4 month time frame was a man-made time.

3. God is not bound by money. The money raised for this trip was raised for Gods purpose wherever it goes and however it is used and that doesnt mean I need to stay in Nicargua to see it used on me. It wouldve been selfish to stay for that reason. Now more of the money that came with me can be used for whatever it is God plans for it.

4. God will continue to provide for me. I couldve stayed because the next month and a half of my life was paid for! What a relief of financial responsibility! But, God called me home early and he wont leave me hanging when I get there.

5. The language barrier made things lonely, difficult, and frustrating. Through the lonliness I felt, God drew me closer to him and showed me how much better it was to turn to him for comfort instead of others, mindless activities, or the nearest chocolate bar (which was often wayyyyyy to expensive for me to justify spending to often). I also thought about how thankful I will be to speak to others in my language and culture and all the opportunities I missed and shyed away from. I had such a strong desire to go deeper in conversations, something God grew in me contiunally so that I would come home with that passion and boldness. (Im on the airplane now and just had the best plane ride ever talking about my faith and life with both of my seat buddies ;-)! )

6. The power of prayer. Seriously this stuff works and its powerful! And God answers. I need a whole seperate blog for this.

7. Fasting with the mindset of focusing on God and hearing from him. I was struggling so much with the decision, that i fasted for a period of three days to sperate myself from the group at meal time which allowed for so much needed time in worship, prayer, in with Word and listening to God. I was able to process a lot! I wasnt distracted by food or other opinions when I needed to be sorting things out with God.

8. Gods plan is better. I expected to do a lot of evangelism. We didnt really do any. We did a lot of construction projects which were great and God can certainly use those in big ways for his glory and thats whats important, but I also think we couldve been more effective in sharing the Gospel and things couldve been better prepared for us by our contacts. But, the days spent constructing or painting allowed for a lot of personal thinking time and talking with God and building relationships and learning from teammates. And one of the things he told me was that Im made more for relational ministry. Getting into others lives, sharing and doing life with them. Living and working along side them. Seeing their needs and struggles. Caring for and serving them and being able to share my faith and hope and joy in my Savior! Not that Im limited to that and cant do construction and other service projects.

9. Pleasing God is better than worrying about pleasing others or self. In trying to make this decision and hear God clearly, I was so worried about disappointing other especially my supporters. I didnt want to "waste" your money (check #3). Or as my Pastor termed it, be seen as a "missionary-drop out". I didnt want to disappoint myself and feel like or failure or deny myself the chance to enjoy more of another country and culture and really cheap prices and an even more awesome tan. There was a huge weight on me for the last couple weeks though I didnt quite realize it, but I finally came to a point where I knew I had to make a choice for the rest of the trip so I could stop thinking about it. And the other night I told God if he really wanted me to go home I would go despite my fears of others or whatever Id miss out on here. And a huge peace came over me. I cant explain it because it was from God but I was on fire! I just felt awesome, that weight had been lifted and it couldnt have been more clear what God expected of me. And that was to leave Nicaragua before May 9th, it just so happens to be back to Wisconsin. ;-)

So, Im on a plane....right now.

God has taught me soooo much more than I can share in this blog. And probably much more than Im aware of right now. He has revealed some of his plan for me back in Wisconsin and Im looking forward to when and how he chooses to reveal the rest. So im not a missionary drop out, Im not so terribly homesick that I couldnt focus on something greater than me, and I didnt run away from anything, and I dont plan on doing nothing and hiding back in Wisconsin. Im still a missionary, ive just been relocated on Gods time and his timing is perfect. I couldve very easily stayed til May 9th and continued to serve, grow,  and be used by God. But, God has a greater need for me back home and he has prepared me for that, whatever that is exactly, and I will still grow, Im assuming more in Wisconsin. But the time I spent in Nicaragua, I grew more than I wouldve in Wisconsin, but its time to go back. Everything has and is happening just as God has planned and allowed. :-)

I will be home tomorrow morning after a long day of travel today. Nicaragua to Atlanta, Atlanta to Detroit at midnight, then a 8am flight from Detroit to Milwaukee for an arrival time of 930am. And then I hope to see many of you Sunday at church :-)

So please pray for flight and travel saftey for me and then my parents and DJ, who are picking me up. That God will give me awesome conversations on my flights. Either the opportunity to share te gospel or just have great conversation with other believers to build up and encourage eachother and glorify God (which he already did on my first flight) and may he open the ears and hearts of the people around us, that our conversations will catch their attention and impact them. Please continue to pray for my team still in Nicaragua...for unity, boldness, the desire to grow and serve. And for my two teammates also back in the states, for the different ministries God has called them back to.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

My 1st Birthday

Today I turn One.

And what a first year its been!

I cant even begin to describe my thankfulness. But, i can honestly say its been the best year of my life! So I wrote this in honor of my Father.

Sure the day I was born (actually it was at night) was rough, I cried. We all do when we are born, we're babies and we see the light for the very first time. But, Im so glad I saw the light no matter how much it hurt at the time because God saved my life and that began my healing process. My heart was broken by this world, broken because I had not focused my life, my relationships, my everything on Christ. I had begun learning about God, who he really truely was in contrast to my former beliefs about God. God is the creator of all things, God loves us, God sent his Son Jesus to die for us, Jesus is God in the flesh, Jesus desires a true, everyday relationship with us, because He has a plan for us. God has a purpose for my life.

All my life I wanted two things - love and a purpose. And God had both for me if I would only accept them from him, wholeheartedly.

I was growing to know God more and more, an unsastiable desire had been placed within me, and I for the first time heard and understood I could have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yet, I hadnt completely given my life to him. I was still clinging on certain things tightly, not allowing Jesus into every aspect of my life. He needed to be in every room of heart and I was putting up walls. Hoping to ignore those rooms full of things I loved a little more than Jesus...and I loved them more because I didnt fully trust Jesus. I didnt trust him to completely fill me up, to give me joy, to comfort me, to love me, to give me purpose. I used school to exalt myself and to give me purpose, I used relationships for all of that and more, I used drinking for fun and comfort. But, God took these things all away and i realized that I couldnt do this halfway. I needed Jesus all the way! And I needed to go all the way for Jesus! In everything! Not just when or where it was convienant to me. But all the time....I live my life for Jesus! Im not perfect by anymeans, but God has given me a new heart, his Spirit to comfort and lead me, the purpose of finding joy in Him and glorifying and spreading His great name. And, let me tell you, does He ever Love Me! I couldnt be more blown away by His love for me and His patience, wow! Did I mention, Im not perfect? Because im not. Yet he doesnt turn his back on me or say "that was the last straw, you blew it". He disciplines me for sure and draws me back to Him. Back into His perfect love!

He has given me so many gifts and revealed plans for me for his purpose! He plugged me into an awesome body of believers who are now my family, Im in a beautiful relationship with a man who encourages and challenges me, he called me (yeah little ole me) to serve on a missions trip in a third world country, he has given me good health, provided financially, he has taught me many lessons, strengthend my faith, given me wisdom and discernment, given me a passion for youth, pictures to draw, adventures to have, adventures to be had, joy, love, comfort, beautiful sunsets, new friendships, peaceful nights under the stars, a nice tan;-), etc, etc, etc.!

This blog doesnt do Him justice. But I am so thankful that He broke into my heart and stole and saved my life from this miserable, lonely world on March 20th, 2011 so that I could start living a new life and look hopefully and joyfully toward my future. A future with Him in His big, beautiful, perfect house, forever.

Thank you, God. Thank for your Son for dieing in my place so that I may have a future with you. For pursuing relentlessly after my heart. For loving me. Thank you for loving the whole world! And sending me to serve in a third world country but also showing me the need to serve at home, so that all may know your great name and share in your great love for us here on this earth and in the great future with you forever. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus' name.  

Love, Teani

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Photo Blog of drawings

Since being here, God has gifted me with many drawings to share with others and serve as reminders of his great love for us.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

How to live forever. THIS IS LEGIT!

Everyone, Im sure, has thought about it, whether it was to live forever or atleast prolong your life. We are looking to escape death, laugh in its face. Enjoy a few more sweet moments. And there are plenty of articles, books, and websites (see picture or google it for yourself). They are all different or far fetched and some dont seem to sure of themselves, so they offer 100 ways! If there are 100 ways, a longer life seems pretty easy to obtain with so many options or they really dont know what they are talking about and threw out 100 ideas hoping youll try them all. You could try one a week or one a day and see how you feel. But lets be honest, no one even sticks to diets that long and most of their suggestions include different foods or exercises, so goodluck.....

Okay, so Im not here to tell you its impossible. Im here with the truth! And this is for everyone. Though I cant take any credit for this discovery. Its actually been published over 7.5 billion times and in thousands of languages. Yet so few know this truth! So, it deserves its own article to highlight this truth. The best part is, its simple. I can said in one sentence. Yeah, i know youre thinking "Wow" right now. You wont have to pour over thousands of pointless statistics and experiments and blah, blah, blah to reach the end and still be unsure what they were trying to say. You wont have to suffer thru this food or nasty drink or rigorous exercise (though physical health is still important, so this is no excuse to sit on your bumbum all day either).

So, here is the truth.

My son, do not forget my teaching,

but keep my commands in your heart,

for they will prolong your life many years

and bring you prosperity.

Source: The Holy Bible, NIV84, The book of Proverbs, Chapter 3, Verses 1 -2.

Go to your local Wally World and pick up this book (or Amazon or a free online site)! Do it right now. It offers more than just this one awesome sentence of truth about life. In fact it has 31,173 verses of awesome truth. Already tested by real people! The book of Eccelsiates offers a kings experiment and search for a meaningful life. And other books include marriage advice, the truth about how we were created, how to be a strong leader,or comfort for sad or hard days. Everything you could want to know is in this book and it can be yours to have in the palm of your hand. Got a question? Look it up! BAM! A truthful answer, finally.

Google aint got nothing on this book!

Check it out for yourself today!

For a free digital copy, go to, biblegateway.com

Or to order your own personal copy for you online shoppers, check out, http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Bible-New-International-Version/dp/0310912369/ref=sr_1_2_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330795413&sr=1-2

And dont keep this to yourself! Tell your mom and dad, brothers and sisters, friends, grandparents, the guy at the table next to you, your boss, use it as an ice breaker, the check out lady at Walmart as youre buying your copy, even people you cant stand or cant stand you (share equally with everyone, youll find this out in this book too, youll be amazed at the effect it has on others when you do share).

Okay, if youre still reading and didnt leave to buy one the first time I told you to, now is REALLY the time to go! Youll even get off your couch for the day and get some physical activity in for the day ;-)

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4