My 1st Birthday

Today I turn One.

And what a first year its been!

I cant even begin to describe my thankfulness. But, i can honestly say its been the best year of my life! So I wrote this in honor of my Father.

Sure the day I was born (actually it was at night) was rough, I cried. We all do when we are born, we're babies and we see the light for the very first time. But, Im so glad I saw the light no matter how much it hurt at the time because God saved my life and that began my healing process. My heart was broken by this world, broken because I had not focused my life, my relationships, my everything on Christ. I had begun learning about God, who he really truely was in contrast to my former beliefs about God. God is the creator of all things, God loves us, God sent his Son Jesus to die for us, Jesus is God in the flesh, Jesus desires a true, everyday relationship with us, because He has a plan for us. God has a purpose for my life.

All my life I wanted two things - love and a purpose. And God had both for me if I would only accept them from him, wholeheartedly.

I was growing to know God more and more, an unsastiable desire had been placed within me, and I for the first time heard and understood I could have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yet, I hadnt completely given my life to him. I was still clinging on certain things tightly, not allowing Jesus into every aspect of my life. He needed to be in every room of heart and I was putting up walls. Hoping to ignore those rooms full of things I loved a little more than Jesus...and I loved them more because I didnt fully trust Jesus. I didnt trust him to completely fill me up, to give me joy, to comfort me, to love me, to give me purpose. I used school to exalt myself and to give me purpose, I used relationships for all of that and more, I used drinking for fun and comfort. But, God took these things all away and i realized that I couldnt do this halfway. I needed Jesus all the way! And I needed to go all the way for Jesus! In everything! Not just when or where it was convienant to me. But all the time....I live my life for Jesus! Im not perfect by anymeans, but God has given me a new heart, his Spirit to comfort and lead me, the purpose of finding joy in Him and glorifying and spreading His great name. And, let me tell you, does He ever Love Me! I couldnt be more blown away by His love for me and His patience, wow! Did I mention, Im not perfect? Because im not. Yet he doesnt turn his back on me or say "that was the last straw, you blew it". He disciplines me for sure and draws me back to Him. Back into His perfect love!

He has given me so many gifts and revealed plans for me for his purpose! He plugged me into an awesome body of believers who are now my family, Im in a beautiful relationship with a man who encourages and challenges me, he called me (yeah little ole me) to serve on a missions trip in a third world country, he has given me good health, provided financially, he has taught me many lessons, strengthend my faith, given me wisdom and discernment, given me a passion for youth, pictures to draw, adventures to have, adventures to be had, joy, love, comfort, beautiful sunsets, new friendships, peaceful nights under the stars, a nice tan;-), etc, etc, etc.!

This blog doesnt do Him justice. But I am so thankful that He broke into my heart and stole and saved my life from this miserable, lonely world on March 20th, 2011 so that I could start living a new life and look hopefully and joyfully toward my future. A future with Him in His big, beautiful, perfect house, forever.

Thank you, God. Thank for your Son for dieing in my place so that I may have a future with you. For pursuing relentlessly after my heart. For loving me. Thank you for loving the whole world! And sending me to serve in a third world country but also showing me the need to serve at home, so that all may know your great name and share in your great love for us here on this earth and in the great future with you forever. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus' name.  

Love, Teani

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